So I learned a new trick today...
The stem on my remaining Stan's rim strip got a tear in it. I tore the stem off and theaded a rubber cone washer onto it, then threaded the adapted stem back onto the rim. It works perfectly. Have any of you guys had trouble with the stem tearing away from conversion rimstrips, or am I just too much of a spaz?
In other news, I may have fixed my bent rear triangle enough to have a rideable bike again. I'll know more definitely after a test ride here in about an hour.